You want people to remember your name, rather than what you did to their knuckles. A handshake should make saying hello easier, but this tiny social task offers plenty of ways to get it wrong. Someone squeezes too hard. Someone forgets to let go. Before you’ve met the new finance director, you’re already working on your exit strategy.
If any of these sound familiar, you’re in good company. Most of us have had a greeting go slightly off-script. Before we meet the culprits, remember that grip isn’t a personality test. Pain, disability, nerves and cultural habits can all play a part. So we’ll laugh at the awkward moment, not judge the person attached to the hand.
What does a good handshake feel like?
A good handshake feels comfortable and ends easily after a brief hello. You shouldn’t need stamina or an exit strategy. In many UK work settings, these simple steps work well:
- Face the person, leaving enough space for you both to bend your elbows comfortably.
- Where appropriate, offer your right hand with your palm roughly vertical.
- Wait for them to accept, then let your palms meet before you close your fingers.
- Keep your grip gentle but secure. Confidence doesn’t need a strength test.
- Say hello and make brief eye contact that feels comfortable.
- Make one or two small movements, then let go after roughly two or three seconds.
That’s a rough guide, so there’s no need to bring a stopwatch. If they release sooner, follow their lead. Likewise, ease your grip if theirs feels lighter. Eye contact should show you’re paying attention, rather than challenging them to blink first.
14 awkward handshake types you’ll recognise
1. The dead fish
Their hand turns up, then leaves you to handle the introduction. Apparently, its work here is done. A limp handshake can feel uncertain because you get little response. If it’s comfortable, gently close your fingers around the other hand. But a light grip doesn’t mean they’re uninterested; they may be taking care of painful joints.
2. The bone crusher
They’ve heard “firm handshake” and decided your knuckles need an audit. Meanwhile, you’ve forgotten your own name. Too much pressure hurts, especially around rings or sensitive joints. So begin gently, rather than matching a crushing grip. If you’re on the receiving end, say, “A little gentler, please,” and release. You came to meet someone, not demonstrate your pain threshold.
3. The sweaty handshake
Just before your interview, your palm decides to install a water feature. Worrying about it rarely turns off the tap. Moisture can make a handshake slippery, but sweating isn’t bad manners. Dry your hands discreetly first, or say hello without contact. If someone else’s palm feels damp, carry on normally. Your hand doesn’t need a forensic examination afterwards.
4. The fingertip handshake
You’ve caught three fingers, while the rest of their hand appears to have declined the invitation. This usually happens when you close your grip before your palms meet. So give the contact a moment before gently closing your fingers. If you’ve already caught their fingertips, let go. Squeezing harder won’t persuade the rest of the hand to join in.
5. The never-ending handshake
You’ve covered names, departments and most of the quarterly forecast. Somehow, you’re still holding hands. A long handshake leaves people wondering whether letting go would interrupt. Instead, shake and release before you start chatting. If you’re stuck, stop moving your hand, loosen your fingers and gently withdraw. You can also ask them to let go. The conversation can manage without the attachment.
6. The arm pump
Their hello reaches your shoulder before they’ve finished saying it. You weren’t expecting manual labour at this meeting. Big, repeated movements pull the other person’s arm and can feel uncomfortable. So relax your elbow and keep the movement small. One or two gentle movements will do. You’re greeting a colleague, not trying to get water out of a well.
7. The looking-over-your-shoulder handshake
Their hand greets you, but their eyes seem to be searching for someone with a bigger budget. That’s how it can feel, anyway. Scanning the room makes an introduction seem rushed, so face the person and listen to their name. Still, limited eye contact isn’t the same as rudeness. People show attentive listening in different ways.
8. The double-handed politician
One hand shakes yours, while the second closes over the top. You’ve asked for the meeting room, not pledged your vote. That extra contact can feel too familiar or make it harder to withdraw. Although friends may welcome it, stick to one hand when you first meet someone. Their wrist, elbow and shoulder don’t need to join the greeting.
9. The dominant twist
It starts as a handshake, but then they rotate your hand until theirs sits on top. Apparently, there’s a podium. Whether it’s deliberate or a habit, twisting can strain your wrist. Keep your palm roughly vertical instead. If someone turns your hand, release rather than wrestling back. You can’t tell what they’re thinking from palm position alone.
10. The personal-space invader
They take your hand, then pull you close enough to inspect the small print on your lanyard. You’re now planning your escape mid-hello. Pulling someone closer takes away their choice of distance. So stay put and let your arm reach towards them. If they step back, give them room. It isn’t an invitation to follow.
11. The premature withdrawal
Their hand vanishes just as yours arrives, so you give the air a confident greeting. It doesn’t reciprocate. Often, this is mismatched timing rather than rejection. Once you’ve offered your hand, pause to give them time to respond. But if they don’t, lower it naturally and carry on saying hello. Chasing their hand won’t improve the introduction.
12. The handshake-versus-hug misfire
You offer a hand. They open their arms. Somehow, the result looks like an awkward coat fitting. This happens because people have different ideas about how well they know each other. If you’re unsure, say hello first and pause. A light “Shall we start again?” can help you reset, but you don’t have to finish a hug out of politeness.
13. The across-the-desk stretch
You’re both leaning over a laptop, a water jug and some carefully arranged paperwork. One wrong move and the minutes need drying. Furniture makes the angle awkward and spills more likely. Instead, say hello or move to a clear space if that’s comfortable. If you need to stay seated, do. Being polite doesn’t require standing or stretching through pain.
14. The multitasker
They’ve got a coffee, a message to check and a few spare fingers for you. Fourth place wasn’t quite the welcome you’d hoped for. Full hands make greetings clumsy, so put your phone away and set things down where practical. If you can’t, a warm hello beats a balancing act. The coffee can sit this introduction out.
Planning a team day? Tell NewWave how you’d like people to feel on arrival. Comfortable introductions are a good start, preferably without anyone checking their knuckles afterwards.
Handshake etiquette for different situations
Handshakes at job interviews
Set your bag down first if you can, then say a clear hello. Follow the interviewer’s cue if you’re comfortable. If there’s a panel, you don’t need to collect every handshake across the table. Greet each person verbally instead. And if you’re hiring, judge the candidate’s answers and relevant skills. Grip strength isn’t part of the job description.
Handshakes at meetings and networking events
If you expect introductions, keep a hand free rather than collecting a drink, plate and programme. You’re meeting people, not testing your carrying capacity. Wait for a gap before introducing yourself to a group. Then release your handshake before your first question. At regular internal meetings, hello usually does the job. Tuesday’s colleagues probably haven’t forgotten you.
Handshakes in everyday introductions
Meeting a neighbour or a friend’s partner doesn’t mean you have to make physical contact. Start with your name and see how the greeting develops. If someone offers a fist bump, avoid cycling through every possible gesture. Pause, agree on an option or simply smile. Nobody’s scoring the choreography.
How to recover from an awkward handshake
A calm recovery matters more than flawless technique. Most awkward greetings fade from memory once someone moves on. So don’t turn a two-second mishap into an apology with its own agenda.
- If you miss their hand, lower yours and say, “Lovely to meet you.” Only try again if you both want to.
- If you squeeze too hard, let go and say, “Sorry, that was a bit firm.” Your gym routine can remain a mystery.
- If you cut across their greeting, pause so they can finish.
- If it hurts, say, “Please let go, that hurts.” You can be direct when you’re in pain.
- If you both laugh, share the moment, then ask a simple question about their day.
Keep jokes about your shared timing, not their body or how confident you think they are. “We nearly managed that” is kinder than commenting on a weak grip. But if they seem uncomfortable, leave the joke out and move on.
How to politely avoid a handshake
You can skip a handshake without presenting your medical history or a defence of your preferences. Say a warm hello early, so the other person knows how to respond. A small wave or nod can help too.
- “I’m skipping handshakes, but it’s lovely to meet you.”
- “I have a hand injury, so I’ll say hello instead.”
- “I’d rather not shake hands. I’m Alex.”
- “I’ve got a cold, so I’ll keep my distance.”
If someone declines your handshake, say, “Of course,” then carry on with the introduction. There’s no need to ask why or offer an elbow bump without checking first. They may not want any contact. For hygiene, wash your hands before eating and follow the relevant health guidance at work.
Handshake customs without the stereotypes
The familiar UK business handshake doesn’t come with worldwide instructions. Etiquette varies between countries, communities and individuals, so a brief, moderately firm grip won’t suit everyone. Some prefer lighter contact or different timing. Others say hello with a bow, a nod or words alone.
Before an international meeting, ask your host about local greetings and any relevant protocol. In some settings, the right hand has particular importance. Some people avoid physical contact across genders for religious or personal reasons too. But someone’s name, nationality, clothing or appearance won’t tell you which greeting they prefer.
If you’re unsure, start with hello and give them room to respond. You can ask, “Would you prefer a handshake or just hello?” Respect their choice and your own boundaries. Likewise, don’t insist on a right-handed grip if injury or disability makes a different greeting more comfortable.
Make handshakes optional in your team’s welcome
When new starters or colleagues arrive, let them choose whether to shake hands. Introduce people by name, then offer something useful to talk about. “You both joined this month” gives them a starting point. A compulsory handshake exercise just gives them another thing to worry about. They’ve already got names to remember.
Notice who hasn’t met anyone yet, then introduce them without making them the centre of attention. Give people time to settle before asking them to perform in front of strangers. After all, hello takes only a few seconds. Your team will appreciate something enjoyable to talk about once the handshakes are over.
Planning a day for colleagues who’ve barely met? Tell NewWave about your group and anyone who’d prefer a gentler welcome, with handshakes optional.
Frequently asked questions about handshakes
A bad handshake makes the greeting uncomfortable through pressure, timing, unwanted contact or distraction. Common examples include squeezing too hard, holding on too long and grabbing only someone’s fingers. However, a light or unusual grip isn’t automatically bad manners; pain, disability and personal preferences can affect it.
Common informal names include the dead fish, bone crusher, fingertip grip, arm pump and double-handed politician. These labels describe recognisable habits rather than formal categories. A comfortable everyday handshake uses gentle pressure, a roughly vertical palm and a brief hold.
Offer your hand without crowding the other person, then wait for them to accept. Let your palms meet before gently closing your fingers, make a small movement and release. Pair it with a clear hello and comfortable attention, rather than concentrating entirely on your hand.
Use enough pressure for a secure, comfortable hold, but never enough to squeeze or hurt. Start gently because you won’t know whether someone has sensitive joints or an injury. If their grip is lighter, soften yours rather than trying to correct it.
Roughly two or three seconds is a useful guide for many UK business introductions. One or two small movements are usually enough before you release and keep talking. If the other person begins to withdraw sooner, let go.
A limp handshake doesn’t reliably reveal confidence, competence or interest. It may reflect nerves, pain, limited hand strength, cultural habits or simply a preference for light contact. Respond gently and judge the conversation rather than the grip.
Don’t squeeze back, because that can turn discomfort into a contest. Loosen your hand and say, u0022A little gentler, please,u0022 or ask them to let go. If it hurts, you can say so directly and end the contact.
Wash and dry your hands beforehand, and keep a clean tissue or handkerchief available for a discreet wipe. Give yourself a moment to settle rather than rushing straight into the greeting. You can also choose a verbal hello; if sweating regularly disrupts daily life, ask a pharmacist or GP for advice.
A fingertip handshake happens when someone grips the fingers before the palms meet properly. It often results from rushed timing or standing too far apart. Release gently if it happens, and allow fuller contact before closing your fingers next time.
A two-handed handshake adds the second hand over the joined hands or onto the other person’s arm. Someone may intend warmth, but it can feel overly familiar during a first meeting. Its meaning depends on the people and context, so it isn’t reliable evidence of sincerity or manipulation.
Brief, comfortable eye contact can help acknowledge the person you’re greeting. You don’t need to stare or maintain eye contact throughout. If eye contact is uncomfortable or inaccessible, facing them and responding attentively can communicate your interest.
A handshake is common in some interviews, but it isn’t compulsory. Begin with a clear greeting and respond to the interviewer’s offer if you’re comfortable. If you’d rather avoid contact, say so briefly and continue with the introduction.
Declining a handshake politely isn’t rude. Say, u0022I’m not shaking hands, but it’s lovely to meet you,u0022 and offer a nod or wave if you wish. You don’t owe anyone details about your health, faith or personal boundaries.
Release, smile if it feels natural and continue the introduction. A brief u0022Shall we start again?u0022 can help if you both want to retry, but it isn’t necessary. Avoid repeated apologies or jokes about the other person’s grip.
Pause instead of pushing ahead with either gesture. Step back if you need space, then settle on a verbal greeting or another option you’re both comfortable with. A small laugh can ease the moment, but nobody has to accept a hug.
You can’t reliably identify someone’s character, honesty or ability from a single handshake. Grip and timing have too many possible explanations, including physical comfort and cultural expectations. At work, use what people say and do over time rather than treating their greeting as a test.
Yes, expectations around pressure, duration, hand choice and physical contact vary between settings and individuals. Ask your host about local customs before an international meeting, then pay attention to the person you’re greeting. Don’t assume everyone from the same country or religion shares one preference.
The right hand is conventional in many UK business settings and has particular importance in some other contexts. However, injury or disability may make a left-handed greeting or no contact more suitable. A brief explanation can prevent confusion, and nobody should insist on a painful or inaccessible gesture.
